Before I reply to this letter, I will post it first and hear people's comments and then try to make an intelligent response by including as well other readers' comments... So please speak your mind out guys. It will mean a lot to the letter sender.
Dear Geo,
First and foremost, sorry if I want to keep myself anonymous for the reason that I promised I wouldn't tell anyone but I really have to talk to someone about this.
We've only just recently met. We started talking for a few weeks and then that night happened where he told me he was positive. He said he initially didn't tell me because he didn't want to scare me away but he felt that it was unfair not to.
I'm fairly inexperienced at life and have never been involved with anything especially in things like this so I don't really know what to do/say. He asked me to think about it and then tell him if I still want to continue with the whole thing.
I also don't know much about HIV. After our first date, I looked it up and I admit that I am a bit... it's hard to describe... not worried about the whole thing or maybe I'm still unaware of the gravity of the situation. I don't know, it's just because I'm very inexperienced in matters such as this. I do very much like this person and even before our date, we kind of "clicked," much more so when we dated on that one particular time.
He said that he didn't even know how he contracted HIV but he had himself tested and three months ago, his CD4 count is 50.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this but as I said I need to talk to someone... anyone... about this.
If I continue dating this person I know it's always going to be inkling at the back of my mind that I may too get infected.
I'm mature in some ways but in the life experience department I'm still sort of a child. This will be something that I won't be able to have down-packed right away so I'm going to work on it.
I'm not going to turn anyone HIV+ away or treat them differently just because they have HIV but as I've said I've never come across anything like this so far. I do really like this person, and by that I mean a lot, and apparently he likes me too.
*sigh* I have no idea what to do, if I do start dating this person I feel like I should inform my friends and family. I'm not sure why but it feels like they should know, as long as this person will allow me. That being said I'm not going to want to keep it a secret from them if we do date. I'm not an independent person yet, meaning that I live at home still. And I'm not sure how my family would take it if they knew. Especially my mum seeing as how she likes to think that she still has a say in my life.
Like I said, I don't know what I was trying to say now but I need to say something and ask anyone for some advice/support?
I hope you will reply. I've read some of your posts on rants and rumblings before and I think you can give me an insightful advice. I'm not worried about the whole situation... just inexperienced. I'm confused. I really hope you can help me, Geo.
I am looking forward to your reply.
Regards,
Confused HIV Dater
hi
ReplyDeleteits all very well clicking with the person but in all honesty i cant see it going anywhere especially with the pressures you will undoubtedly get from family and friends. so it may be better all round for you to talk it through with him first and take it from there in this sort of situation i think you should let your head rule. you are no1 in your life and you should think of yourself first family will always be family no matter what. everyone else will come in and out of your life so if it is not to be then it won't. hope this helps